Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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