I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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