Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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