when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?