god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
one two three fourrrrnication!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
COCAINE IS GR8