i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
