Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well I just put wine in my tea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
