he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
