I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize