I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
