Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
