don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
