a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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