You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
