No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
