let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
