Already got asked if we're dating
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize