he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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