no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
