Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
