11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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