hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
