I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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