So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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