Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
