When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
