youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
