the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
