I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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