We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
