Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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