thus making me awesome and them whores
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.