Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?