im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
