yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
