haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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