Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
