Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
