Got a toothbrush?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
