: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
