I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
