Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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