I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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