hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
