There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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