im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think my vagina is haunted
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
