I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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