this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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