You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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