She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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