ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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