i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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