Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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