ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
