If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
