Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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