thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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