i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
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dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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