one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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