dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
