Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
