i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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