do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
