Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
